In Ruins by Danielle Pearl

Author:Danielle Pearl
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
Published: 2016-10-04T04:00:00+00:00

Chapter Seventeen

Tucker

Present Day

The sound of a whimper jolts me awake. I hadn’t meant to fall asleep at all, and my gut rolls frantically, though it takes me a moment to recall exactly why. Then my heavy arm registers the warm, tight stomach it’s resting upon, and my eyes fly open.

Carl squirms, and I push up onto my elbow to face her. Her eyes widen in a regretful startle. Was she trying to make an escape?

“Trying to sneak out?” I accuse. I know I should reel it in, but I’m already pissed. What was she going to do? Just disappear so I could wake up and worry my damn head off?

Carl’s mouth opens silently and her cheeks flame in a rare blush.

“What the fuck?”

Her shoulders sag. “I…” She trails off and I raise my eyebrows expectantly. She sighs. “I’m mortified, Tucker.”

Oh. I blow out a slow exhale, telling myself to relax. “You have nothing to be embarrassed about, Carl,” I murmur as I sit up, effectively releasing her.

She rolls her eyes. “Yeah, okay.” Her tone drips with bitter sarcasm. “It’s not remotely embarrassing to become a pathetic college freshman cliché, and to have to be rescued by my ex who fucking hates me.”

I balk at hearing her say I hate her again—absurd, really, since it was me who worked so hard to put the idea in her head. “We went over this last night,” I remind her, and I wonder how much she actually remembers. The way she watches me makes me suspect she does remember, only she’s not sure if it’s an actual memory or not.

When it becomes clear she’s not going to ask, I decide to ease her worries. After last night, I just feel like she needs a goddamn break. “I don’t hate you, okay?”

“You don’t?” she asks softly.

I shake my head. “Look, Carl. I was angry. Still am angry most days, to be honest. But we were friends for a long time before we ever started dating, and I don’t know…maybe we can be friends again at some point,” I offer.

Dating. It sounds like such a foreign word. Completely inadequate for what we were doing.

For nearly a full minute, Carl doesn’t so much as breathe. “How?” she asks.

“I don’t know, Carl. Obviously we can’t go back to how we were, you know, before. I’m not even saying I forgive you. But our best friends are all either best friends or together. And I do obviously still care about you. Beyond that, I honestly don’t know. I don’t know how I feel. But I do know it isn’t hate, okay?”

I hope that’s enough. It’s all I have to offer.

She nods slowly, and from the look on her face, I’m not sure if I’ve put her at ease or hurt her even more somehow.

I let another minute pass before I speak again.

“How are you feeling?”

“Hungover,” she admits. “But not like a normal hangover. I mean, I’m okay. I just feel kind of, like, slow. And a little lightheaded, actually.”

“Yeah, that’s pretty normal for what you took.

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